Engagement and wedding ring order (and a bit on my ring)

Which comes first, the engagement ring or the wedding ring? I am not speaking of course of which one you get first, as the answer to that one is obvious, but the order in which they go onto your ring finger.

I’ve always thought that the engagement ring should go first, because it would already be on your hand when you’re actually at the alter, receiving your wedding ring. But I was wrong.

Upon looking into the subject further, I saw that many brides switch the engagement ring to the right hand ring finger during the ceremony. In that case, the left ring finger would be bare and ready to receive the wedding ring. And she then sneaks the engagement ring on next, when exactly – nonchalantly in the middle of the reception?

And then, I saw The Great Gastby, where Daisy (and Myrtle, for that matter) wears her engagement ring first, wedding ring second.

I looked up the ring order again. I found several sources maintaining that the wedding ring comes first because it’s “closer to your heart.” Oh, please.

However, some women prefer to wear the engagement ring first so that the wedding band sort of “guards” the diamond, which is how I always thought of it.

After giving the topic some thought I decided that I’m perfectly content going with the less common, but Daisy Buchanan-favored, engagement ring first, wedding ring second.

The story behind my engagement ring: I already wrote a tiny bit about the proposal here, but there is a separate story behind the ring itself.

In talking about someday getting married, my boyfriend-at-the-time asked me to make a Google docs document on notes about the engagement ring I wanted. For, you know, someday far, far away.

Not knowing much about the subject at the time, I started with what I knew I didn’t want: I did not want a diamond with two smaller diamonds on each side; I was semi-open to diamonds on the band, but I really wanted the diamond to stand alone by itself. I did not want a pink, black, or otherwise non-traditional color diamond or stone. I did not want anything with a gold band. I did not want pear cut, emerald cut, oval cut, heart cut, or marquise cut.

Then, I found it. Randomly, on Pinterest, when I wasn’t even looking for it: the perfect ring for me. That wonderful moment when you see something and you know it was just meant for you.

I copy and pasted that picture right into the Google document.

It was so perfect. It was like the princess cut diamonds I had seen, but turned on its side. Still a square shape, with all right angles, and yet, it was a diamond shape. But not quite a diamond shape, because that would imply that the shape would not be all right angles; the two on the outer sides would be wider than that. I didn’t know what it was called, but I loved it.

I found out much later it was a princess cut, kite setting.

I really did not think that he would propose when he did. Yes, it was our anniversary and we were away for the weekend. But, it had been my idea to go away in the first place, and I picked the place. I truly did not see it coming and was honestly shocked.

And when he opened up that box and that ring was there, the ring, my ring, I couldn’t believe it. It was exactly what I had wanted. I had the best of both worlds: the spontaneity and romantic feel of the surprise, but also a huge comfort and excitement in the fact that I had exactly what I wanted and would wear for the rest of my life. I didn’t like it “just because he gave it to me;” I really liked it, loved it in fact. It was exactly what I would have picked out for myself.

Here is my actual ring on my hand:

I think it’s tacky when people post pictures of their rings on Facebook, so just excuse me while I’m a huge hypocrite here posting it on my blog instead.

After we got engaged, I went back to try to find that picture of the first ring on Pinterest. I actually didn’t pin it because I thought that might be bad luck, or something. I don’t know. I wanted it to be private, at the time, I think.

I couldn’t find it. I did a Google search with the image and still couldn’t find it.

I wanted to thank that person out there who posted a picture of their ring (that picture looks like it was taken at home by the owner, and not by the jeweler trying to sell it, right?) but I couldn’t find it again.

So thank you, my ring twin, wherever you are out there, for helping me get exactly what I wanted in my engagement ring.

2 thoughts on “Engagement and wedding ring order (and a bit on my ring)

  1. Good idea with the ring thing. I should probably do my research…. I’m picky, PLUS I play string instruments with my left hand, so I HAVE to be picky…

    1. Yes, some people have to be picky because of their careers. My friend Maia is a nurse and needed a ring with a low enough setting that it wouldn’t tear latex gloves. =0)

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